You would be taller now, your voice a little deeper,
Because today you would be seventeen.
It’s hard to mother you in Heaven while I’m down here,
I float somewhere in between.
I long to make your favorite food, buy you clothes,
take trips and talk about what we see.
I wish I was driving you to and from airports,
Yeshiva, camp, that’s where you should be.
Then come home to visit us, a few times a year
All of us would be together.
When I hug your brothers and sister, I leave a space for you.
Can’t imagine this forever.
I should be making cake today, our family celebrating
as you turn seventeen.
Instead we celebrate the 13 years Hashem gave us,
With no choice but to live in between.
I ache to mother you, for you to need me,
though I know you are ok on your own.
The place where you are, your neshama glowing
Hashem’s rewards of all you had sown.
I am a mother, I exist to care for my children,
But you are somewhere above that now,
They tell me you are ok without me, could that be?
I don’t know how.
I know you are in Hashem’s loving arms, enjoying all
That is beautiful and true.
But my heart aches for you to be here in my arms,
that I could still take care of you.
I can hear your voice say “Mommy, it’s ok, really,
I’m older now, I’m seventeen”
It hurts to mother you from so far away,
I’ll find somewhere in between.
We’ll try to inspire ourselves & others to do mitzvos,
by your example of gratitude, friendship, and joy.
With laughter and tears we remember the good times,
Happy Birthday Mendel, our sweet boy.